Category Archives: Journal

Urgency

“We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity. The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood — it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, “Too late.” – Martin Luther King

I hope i am loosing my time, and gaining in weight.

The thought of “wasting lives” always comes in my mind. Well sung by Foo Fighters.

Time flies….

Re reading and Re visiting

Just rereading old book.

I thought, man is known by the number of books he has read. But realized, man is known by the number of books he has chewed.

A deeper read is more beautiful and enhance one’s understanding; then more and shallow read.

What needs to be done ? Why direction is all that important in life

In Bible it is written, without vision, everything will perish. And i have to put the point that it is the vision which is important. But then Vision is so flexible, so abstract that it make me think twice.

Does Messi sought out to be the world best player; or simply worked day and night to improve his Skills ?
Does Shakespear sought out to be a better writer , or simply worked to grow in the writing ?
For me, it is improving and having challenges that are important. And working on that day and night; let the challenges take us to anywhere.

Honeymoon Diary

There is a program called “Ellite Special Force training” in military, where the trained military persons, before joining the elite commando, have to undergo a seven day ordeal in the jungle. where they would be left with no food and water supply, and need to survive the seven day. Once day survive, they are deemed to be good for the elite commando.

After completing my honeymoon trip, I now find myself to be ready to start my married life, and join all those married men who have gone through this type of training.

Yes,  The honeymoon trip was an eye opening trip, for the harsh realities that awaits in my married life. To name the few, in order, here are the some

  1. My Laptop, my eternal companion is deemed allergic to my wife. Hence, I cannot carry it at my home. I did not carry it on my honeymoon trip.  Training for my married life.
  2. My television, I mean to say, “My television”, has now become “Our television”. During the honeymoon period I watched, “Balika Vadhu” ; “Badain Achhain Lagtain ho”; “Dekha Aissa Khwab”. I wont say , I watched, but I was made to watch the TV.
  3. My books are deemed as enemy of states; and during my honeymoon, my wife has told me that “these books have fed wrong ideas in my head about society and everything”; I need to watch more of Balaji Telefilms “Serial” to attune myself with worldly reality. I have to convince myself.
  4. My freedom and My time, has now being question, as an independence rhetoric. Anything, which is not serving my wife purpose, would be termed as enemy. Even the innocuous newspaper I brought, to read about “Higgs Boson”- the god particle on 2nd of June, was being asked, “Kya newspaper, mujhsain jyada important hai”.
  5. My “Devil may Care”, attitude is being replaced by “Wife will Care” attitude. Sorry friends, for missing there countless phones, and not being on the facebook.
  6. There is an epic battle that is going on of my “work-alcholic” attitude to be replaced by”wife-alcholic” attitude. Though I have conceded space to my wife, but still I am hanging on to give my work due importance.

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It was a wonderfull honeymoon to begin with, My wife got what she love to do the most “Shopping”; and I got to do, what I love to do the most, “Sleeping”. Even the Hotel Manager told me that for four days, we did not went to visit any tourist place around Darjeeling. Nor the “Tiger Hills” nor the “Tea Gardens…”.  Well,  what need is to be, when we have found each other love.

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Since all my blogging were written on “Devil May Care” attitude,  I have now realized it should be written on “Wife may care”. And here I written some good fiction on how good my wife is

  1. She has been offered the job of taking care all my works, that has been reluctantly done by my mom. Like Laundry, taking care of my belongings and etc.
  2. She has been able to “tolerate me”, that’s been a great blessing for me to find someone, who can accept my eccentricity and my enigmatic nature.
  3. She is a wonderful personality, who knows how to pacify my anger; well during the honey moon period, I did lost control on “haggling taxi drivers”, but she taught me “peace”.

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Visionary

Its Monday Morning, but some how or the other, i do not feel the Monday Hangover…There is a kick inside, as i enter the office. I even worked on Sunday’s. Well, if you are working for your own “vision”, there is always a kick to make your vision, into reality.

Being Visionary…..During my struggling days, i.e, three months back, I used to visit the “Indian Coffee House”, or “Jawahar Kala Kendra”. I remember, the first day when i visited the Coffee house, i felt, “Yaha ki toh hawa hi alag behti hai”, there is a different kind of wind that blows here. The reason for the said is, Indian Coffee House is a place where all the artist of Jaipur meet up. There are painters, animators, actors, musician, authors, photographers….Being with them, Was akin to being at college. What so ? The vision thingy..

During my college days,at IIT, we used to talk about changing the world, we were cocky, We used to talk about Ideas , we used to think what opportunities are stored for us, but two years of Job, most of them had grown up, ( GIVEN UP !!). Even at Job, the talks does not become about Ideas, but next pay hike, People do not think how to change the world, but how to create “Politics” for there own good. Life becomes a disturbing affair. There were no visionary left, and at “Indian Coffee house”, i found “Kuch nayi hawa”.

So they were artist, and they were visionary. I met an artist who had not earned  a singly money for last few year, 35 something. He had a dream of making a bike shaped like a Dragon. And he made it, and currently he was struggling to sell the bike to get some money. There were painters who do painting, because that is the only thing they like to do. Even if the money were less. A school teacher who loved Prem Chand. our Indian “Shakespeare”, who told how good he felt , whenever he reads “Namak ka Daroga”.  The world at Indian Coffee house was filled with Visionary and people who wanted to change the world. And i still love the place.

So here, i am a Business Man. Life become a struggle if you dont dream, or if you do not have vision. The world is shaped by dreamers. I love and trully believe in. Those people at coffee house, without a penny in there pocket and dreams so high, are a true inspiration for me. I agree i am clocking may be 70 hours a week in my work, or building my dream; i agree i do not have much time left even to watch a movie, or having a good night sleep, but it is worth the life..as i am in pursuit of my vision.

My Office

Here i work…

Gyming motivation

Its time to hit the gym….Anyways, after four months of sabatical, i finally hit the gym yesterday. Its all because i noticed my bulging tummy. I am allergic to tummy.

I was not a gym goer, but when i got into the job, i noticed why all my seniors are having tummy. When i asked, there reply, “This is the side effect of Job”. Oh i hated. And hence i started hitting gym. I know, a bulging tummy will spoil any clothes you wear. I do not belong to the credo which preach ,”Health is Wealth”, but to a credo which says , ” Clothes are waste, when you have large waist”.  So, here my tummy is hitting 32, i wanted it 28, that i was three months back.

Hitting the gym, always been a kind of mental engineering. I know my mind is intelligent, it says ,” Why waste for waist ?”. And recently death of two footballers in the football pitch, gave my lazy mind one more excuses on not to hit the gym. The footballers died at the age of 26, even when they are hitting gym and were fit. So Gym may effect your health !!. I agree, but then i realize i do not belong to the credo, “Health is Wealth “, but to the credo, “All Clothing is waste, if you have large waist.”.

So, like always, I engineer myself that i wont be doing gym, but just visit the gym, Just to take the little step. And i know once i visit, all motivation to hit the treadmill will come. I suppose, every body use this same motivation when they wake up early in the morning, ” i will just stand, when i will wake up, and then i will sleep”, And sleep never happens, once you wake up, you are on a role.

Gymming is a solitary activity, where you fight with yourself. Today i will run 4 Km, during the run, you lower your standard, then your other half fight to keep it 4 Km. You do push ups promising yourself to do 50, but again end up doing 25. I dont think, for me its a physical activity, but it is for me a mental gymnast, where two parts of my mind,debate with each other, during the course of my physical drama !!.

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* Gymming is not an english word, i have created a new word….

Image

Sorry Laptop, i am not gonna sleep with you…

Yestersay, i decided not to carry my laptop at home.

Having been at office from 9 to 7, hooked with laptop…and again at home, again hooked with laptop..it feels that i have started living in a virtual world, a kind of addiction. So , i , with a heavy heart, decided to let my laptop sit alone , all night in my office. The pain of it was two faced, i hope what i was feeling , laptop must be feeling the same.  I gave ta ta, to my laptop and reached home.

Home without Laptop, I started missing all my. E-books, I started missing those stream of information, news that my laptop throws me..those happy memories of watching youtube, movies…Spending time from 7 to 12 at night, started looking be too long. I was depressed a bit.

As i reached my room, i decided to find something to do with. As i saw the room, i saw my lovely guitar. have not been strummed for months. I love music, and guitar too…i thought, how much Laptop had taken away the charm of strumming my good guitar. And there i saw some books.

My list of unread books which i had brought shelving precious amount of my pocket money. Laptop too had replaced this books with E-books, i took some of the hard books, felt in my hands. I never felt E-books, because they are soft. But I started feeling those books, I immediately took a pencil and started reading the books, underlining some good sentences, making cartoons on the margin. I felt happy and sorry for the Laptop.

Even i did a bit of Guitaring, To create a music is altogether different experience; where as in my laptop i am passive listener to the music, Guitar makes me feel like God. I can create Music !! Ha ha ha…I am God. Where as my mom always come running to me, yelling STOP THE NOISE. My music skill is so underated at home.

I will say, i felt a bit of peace without my laptop. A good thing, I reflected, i thought, i planned. When laptop in my hand, i had a kind of internal demand to log on to facebook, to see twitter, follow football, see what is happening in cricket, do research on n number of stupid thing. Being a curious person, Laptop feeded with my nature.

I remember, i slept a good night sleep. Slept at 11 and woke up at 7. Again , in my previous case, i used to wake up and log into my laptop, again to quench my thrist for information. But today, i woke up, and i felt lost !!. What i am gonna do ?.

It was a lovely morning, i decided to go outside and have a jog a bit. I connected with the Nature. :-).

I hope, my laptop will sleep alone in the office. I am happy to de-plug laptop after office.

Sorry Laptop, I wont sleep with you !!!

Anyway, beautiful song…..i love it.. ( where is my mind — by pixies)

Settled in Solar

The Way things were

On one not so bright Monday evening of August 17th,while working for a project,  i suffered an Existential Crisis. It was a recurring project that i have to do, it was the bad boss that i had, It was the 6 by 6 cubicle that i had occupied for past one year. The Existential crisis was “Is this the working life i for see ‘. Does not this cubicle job sounds like Prison. I quickly typed my resignation letter, I know if i would not do it quickly, the “Rationalizing tendency” of my mind, would take over, like it had done before.

My period of Existential crisis was always there, i hate office jobs, i hate switching job, i love work i do, i hate office politics, i hate licking ***, i am what i am. But somehow i manage to stick to it. The familiar rationalizing tendency

  1. 9 to 5 job, Saturday Sunday off, what is better then that ?
  2. Business is tough. And what business  i would move into ?
  3. It is just stupid thoughts, a kind of anger on boss, job is good ?
  4. Money and Marriage, Who would bet his girl on a business man, especially in my state ?

It acted like a drug, I know i hated, i do not like myself working for someone else, called it an individualization, or call it young man with a hot blood tendency. This time, i thought “enough is enough”, forget it, I have done for.

Resignation Period

“To succeed in something, burn your bridges ”

I never told my family, i had resigned. I had two months notice period. I did not wanted them to know because once they get the news, they will start sending me “threatening vibes”. I agreed, in our Society, Job is placed at higher altar. Though our family is harcore baniyas, but they believe in “safety of child” , In Business you can be butchered, but in Job, its a safety net. But here Mitesh believe in what Nietzche said, to feel alive , live on a razor edge. Business was exciting and i was feeling alive, but I HAD NO PLANS.

Once i know, i do not wanted to be in Job, i listed down all the thing i can do, which included giving Coaching. I had no plan but one goal — “NO JOB” . So during those two months , i explored all the opportunity i had. I did not concentrated on any one industry, because i know the “Business Jungle” would be totally different, on the plans i would make while viewing Internet. And after four months, i think i was right.

October 22 – Into the wild

Till then, i had zeroed down to following ideas

  • Maya51 – selling online painting. Rational was, my cousin was in London looking for paintings from India. I needed to start a website and feed paintings.
  • Campus Triangle – a social media site for education purpose.
  • Zen Solar – For roof top and Solar water heater installation.
  • Social Media sites for leaders – Every one is using twitter, even Narendra Modi too..why not Rajasthan Leaders use it.
  • Small IT projects.

The list was long, i agree. Anyone with a cursory view would say, He is bound to fail. I agree, i was not concentrating on any Idea, but after job, i have to work for any Idea. I do not want to put all my eggs in single basket. Genius and Insanity has an inch difference, i would say, My mind was oscillating between these two, before i finally settled here. But i would say, It was a mark of genius from my side.

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The army of my well wisher

I did not know, i had so many well wisher, when i arrived in Jaipur, told my mom flatly, i have done for in Job. What translated was flood of calls and an army of relatives coming in my home, wishing me if all was all right. Why some one leaves a high paying job ? What is in business ? Business is tough ? There was a plumming of my stock in the market, with advert flying that “Mitesh has given up Job”. I mean , “Mitesh is starting Business” was stupid.

It was really really really tough. It was showing your tough face, when your “well wisher” comes, but inherently you felt you are still “exploring”. It was tough, when your well wisher, always come and tells your “OPPORTUNITY COST”, of loosing this amount of salary per month, and you have to listen.

There is something more then “MONEY”, there is life. I had no answers, but i had to listen. I used to get angry very very very much. But slowly, i started getting a tough thick skin. This was the first thing i earn during entrepreunurship. People like to impose there own rules on you.

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At Orphanage

one of the poignant moment, visited an orphanage for Biiness, the girl in pic, came to me and started pulling my legs crying,”mumma , mumaa…”..which was nowhere to be found.. 😦

The Start

I an IIT graduate, an IIT graduate. ..this was a good thing i got credential, but this was a bad thing, because first thing people used to ask, “IITians get good money, what are you doing in Business”. All your reputations you have to loose when you are in Business. Well, i earned “thick skin” but i lost my reputation. My first loss.

In the last two months, i did every thing and failed in everything. I started Maya51, hoping to sell paintings online, but could not reach the threshold of 150 paintings, to make it viable. The website is still active. www.maya51.com

I started campus triangle, visited 12 university. What i learned was , in this catherdal of knowledge, where Saraswati needs to recide, Laxmi dictates the term. They were not interested in the product, but in “Return on Investment”. This was one more earning, In business talk about “Munafa”. No one is here for charity. Even if it means improving students life, it should translate into monetary benefit.www.campustriangle.com

My Social Media business, I got an ex-MLA facebook page to maintain, I did got the work, but not the Money. www.facebook.com/ramjiofficial

After one and half months of chutiaps, i realized i need to earn some money. and i got a lead of installing a solar water heater in an industry. I did not had any sort of information on solar water heater, but i needed “any work”. I went there, saw there working, they needed a water pre heater. I told then need to have solar water heater. They said, they will think and told me to come next time.

I did research to get the dealers, found the margins, and in the next meeting i got the deal done. It as a “Beginner luck”, i got a dealership with no paid money, i got the client who was willing to trust my “IIT tag”. Now i had to install it and get the money.

Solar Water Heater

The Solar water Heater — Learning Economics

Mitesh , you fly.”- Ankit Dusaad

In your first venture, remember you will loose money. I intuitively knew it. Not because they are the word of wisdom, but I do not know any thing about Solar water heater. And also the economics part. As i retrospectively look, on how my 50% margin vaporized into 20% loss, following are the lessons i learnt.

  1. There is something call Margin, which is not profit, but a cost cushion in case of eventualities. A grocery store can sell potatoes at 10% margin, because risk is less, but A brand new Toyota Land Rover would sell with 40% margin because of associate risk of delivery and finding customer. I thought 50% margin for Solar water heater was good enough, but did not realize it is a hydra monster with many hidden charges.
  2. Over promise and Under deliver :- Why we promise so much and then deliver so little ? , we were desperate for our first deal, and we did what was expected in desperation. To get the deal, we told we will do all the plumbing, we will do all the grouting, we will do “all things” required. We were smothered because we promised everything, without thinking what we were telling. And to add to that, we did not have any written contract.
  3. A fool and his money are easily parted :- a hole can sink a ship, thats why Baniya will spend 10 rupees to save 25 paise. Complacent with our margins, we were easy with money. We did not bargain with the plumbers, with the painters , with the technicians and at the end we realized, we were smothered. The pet dialogue of all these parties were ,”you people look genuine, thats why we are asking genuine rates……1000 rupees”. I mean, even a lowly plumbers, thought we were fools, though we did not look like fools, but in there lingo, people who do not bargain a lot are there to be slaughtered.
  4. Belief is a hard commodity :- A pack of thieves or a pack of wolves work well, because there relationship are based on mutual distrust, they all know each other secret. If one start having blind trust in other, know it will be butchered. In Business too, we did not take any measure to inquire about the process, about the stake holders “margin”, or on what they are upto. We behaved business to be like in nursery school playground, but found it to be a jungle. Hard lesson learnt, when the client paid us half the money and kept the rest, when he told, we will get when we will get the subsidy. I mean, it was not told, but he told, he did not trust us. We did not prepare ourselves for this eventuality. We were butchered.
  5. Dont trust the professionals :- We can expect when money is involved, belief would evaporate, but what if i paid money to a professional CA for his service. I paid five thousand of my hard earned cash, to get my company registered and get the documents ready ; but at the end i found the CA , whom i blindly trusted had goofed up with the TIN and the Registration number, which made me loss ten thousand because of CST and Inter state transportation fine. Lesson learnt, you have to be intelligent in Business, otherwise pay for other people stupidity.
My Partner in Crime

My Partner in Crime

The Lead

“Fortune favors the prepared mind” – Louis Pasteur

I think, the above quote should be the most revered quote for an entrepreneur. While moving from one uncertain venture to other, The only credo that